Your Mouth is Huge
by PteraWaters
Summary: Tag for S2E1 - Auditions, in which Sam Evans is the new kid and Puck is a total ho. Puck/Sam slash because I had to.


_A/N: I couldn't help myself. I just couldn't!_

_

* * *

_"Dude, your mouth is huge," Puck pointed out. "How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"

"I don't know," the new kid replied, sort of bemused. "I've never had any balls in my mouth." Looking Puck straight in the face, Sam asked, "Have you?"

Puck smirked at the kid's badassness, rolling his eyes over Mike to share a look with Finn. Oh if only Sam knew...

* * *

Then, all of a sudden, Finn was off the team and Sam was the one Puck was supposed to be practicing throws with and all he could do was stare at that huge face gash. Whenever Sam spoke and Puck got a good look at how much room there was in there, how far back Sam's mouth went before the little hangy-ball thing, all he could think about was how his whole cock would probably fit in there without the dude even needing to deep throat. Okay, maybe not the whole thing. But most of it.

And the guy had a nice body in the shower. Lean, like Puck liked them. See Finn and that stupid Hummel kid as evidence. Of course his thing with Finn had ended when Finn started seeing Quinn, even though he knew Puck liked her. Bros before hos, dude. Seriously. And he and Kurt never ever spoke ever again of that one fumbling encounter in the locker room. Ever. ("I don't know how I broke my toe, Coach. I just slipped," and my dick landed in that homo over there... Yeah, the one with the pretty lips.)

So when he and Sam stayed late to run a few more hook passes and then ended up alone in the locker room together, Puck knew it was time to make his move. "Hey, man?"

"Yeah, Puck?" Sam asked, that huge mouth splitting in a friendly little grin.

Oh, that was it. Puck grabbed the kid by his shirt and slammed him against the lockers, kissing his bottom lip quickly but effectively before backing off and scooping up his stuff, heading for the door. That was the first move. Just a little teaser to test the waters.

The next time they stayed late, Puck was rewarded with a few curious looks, so he left his towel off when he stepped away from the showers and walked past Sam, raising one eyebrow when the dude's eyes snapped up from his junk to Puck's face, sure now that he'd been caught looking. Oh, wasn't that fear on his face just so fucking precious?

The third time they stayed late, at Sam's insistence, the blonde kid came at him as soon as everyone had left, all eager tongue and big hands and Christ this kid's cock had to be huge with mitts like those. Kissing Sam, Puck got an even better idea how big that fucking cavern of a mouth was. His tongue got tired just trying to map the expanse of it. When they broke apart eventually, Puck grinned, "I knew you were into me. And I have had balls in my mouth, if you're still wondering."

Sam shivered against him and grinned right back. "I might have to see that before I believe it."

"Okay," Puck shrugged, grabbing Sam's hand and pulling him out towards his car. Or, his mom's mini van, today, he guessed. They'd traded cars this morning because Puck's fucking little clown car got better milage than the van and she had to take Sarah to some pagent in Dayton overnight. "Gotta be anywhere soon?"

"Not if I call," Sam agreed, pulling a phone from his pants pocket and hopping up into Puck's car when the door unlocked. "Hey, mom. I have to work on a project tonight ... Noah Puckerman. He's on the football team with me mom ... No, of course not! You know I haven't told anyone ... Yeah, I'll call. Later."

By the time Sam got done convincing his mom he would be okay, they were halfway to Puck's house. And he was intrigued by the conversation. "Haven't told anyone what? You're a big homo?"

"Exactly," Sam smiled. "I got a lot of shit about it at my other school and I decided to just leave all that behind for awhile. At least until I got up the courage to ask Kurt out."

"He's alright," Puck shrugged. "Good kisser, but don't do him anywhere wet. He has, like, zero balance and takes you down with him, which is so not cool when you're both about to ... arrive. But don't tell Kurt I told you that. We never ever ever talk about it. Ever."

"Like fight club," Sam laughed.

Puck grinned again. Oh, he liked this dude a lot. He might just make a really excellent fuck buddy for the near future.

As they got to Puck's house, which was dark and empty until Puck started turning lights on and making noise as he got settled, Sam asked, "Do you know who else at school is like us?"

"Dude," Puck insisted. "I'm not gay. I'm, like, pansexual or something. Wanna soda?"

"Sure," Sam agreed. "And what does that even mean?"

"It means," Puck grinned, taking a sip of his soda and leading the boy up to his room, "I'll fuck anything pretty enough. And, you know, _human_. But as far as gay dudes, there's Hummel, and Tim Kelly, that drama geek, and Charlie Newson, if you get him drunk enough. And I had a thing going with Finn for awhile, but I think that was just 'cause he had a man crush and a hair-trigger. He's totally in love with Rachel now."

"Wow. Alright," Sam nodded, stepping into Puck's room and taking a look around. Puck was proud of his room. He kept it at just the perfect state of messiness that declared he was a badass dude, but didn't scare chicks away. There were clothes on the floor around the hamper, but no visible underwear or socks, and the bed was technically made, but it was a sloppy job, with extra corners hanging out here and there.

Puck sat down on the bed and kicked off his shoes, taking another chug of his soda as he watched Sam wander around, touching things. When he found a comic book on the desk, he picked it up with a little smile and flipped through a few pages, bobbing his head in approval. Damn that kid had some nice hair. Well, it was cut stupid, but it was blonde and looked soft, like it would be fun to hang onto during sex.

Eventually, Puck got anxious and set down his soda, murmuring, "C'mere, QB."

Sam stepped closer, still a slight smile on his wide mouth, and set his bottle next to Puck's, standing between Puck's legs next to the bed. The way he brushed his hand over Puck's jaw and bent down to kiss him was hesitant, but the way he moaned when Puck opened his jeans and stroked him wasn't.

* * *

"Dude," Puck insisted, kissing his way down Sam's spine, "you should really join glee club. I know it's pretty lame or whatever, but you're so good, Sam. We need you."

"You sure you didn't just seduce me to get me to join?" Sam asked, flinching when Puck pinched one of his sides.

"I seduced you cause you're hot and I wanna see how much of my cock fits in your mouth," Puck said evenly, his kisses trailing further downward. "I would tell you otherwise."

"I bet you would," Sam laughed, flipping over to give Puck a different view. "I'll think about it."

* * *

"Puck!" Finn called to him from down the hallway after choir. He let the guy catch up and ask, "How did you convince Sam to join? This is great!"

"Same way I convinced you to join the basketball team freshman year," Puck shrugged, watching as Finn remembered, made the connection, and then blushed up a storm.

"You blew him?" he asked in a whisper, eyes wide in awe.

Puck nodded. "Yep. Dude's almost as big as you, man, so no one better say I'm not a team player."

"I didn't even know he was... Oh, man! I keep trying to set him up with Mercedes!"

Puck laughed. "Yeah, good luck with that, Hudson. I'm a hundred and fifty percent certain she's not his type."

After thinking for as long as it took them to get to Puck's locker, Finn stuck a finger in Puck's face and insisted, "Don't mess this up! We need him on the team, so don't crush him like you did with Tim and that one girl, Lisa. Be nice."

"I can be nice," Puck insisted. "But nice gets old, fast." Especially when nice has already answered the question, "How much would fit?" with, "Holy fuck, the whole thing? Really? Damn, boy!"

* * *

One day, about a month before sectionals, Puck walked into the choir room to see Kurt and Sam talking excitedly about something, all smiles and big hands. Puck had a feeling he was gonna have to look for a new fuck buddy soon. He wondered what that hot girl who played the bass in Jazz band was doing after rehearsal.

* * *

"Hey, Puck," Sam said after practice, again when it was just the two of them. "Are we ... What are we?"

"Fuck buddies," Puck insisted. "I don't have boyfriends."

"Oh," he nodded. "So then if I wanted to..."

"Have little homo babies with Kurt?" Puck asked, laughing at Sam's surprised expression. "Go for it, dude. I'm going out with Amy on Friday, anyway."

"So we're ... cool?" he asked, still a little confused.

"Yeah," Puck smiled, pressing one last kiss to Sam's big Stephen Tyler mouth. "And let me know if you and Hummel are ever up for something interesting. I've always wanted to know what that would be like."

"A-alright," Sam stuttered, backing away. "See you tomorrow, Puck."

"Later, Evans."

* * *

_I know Sam may or may not be Kurt's boyfriend later on, but I just had to write it this way. Review and let me know what you thought!_


End file.
